You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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