Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
