trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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