i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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