I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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