Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
