She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
