Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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