He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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