She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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