we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
