im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
