My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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