Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
