3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
