Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
