So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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