i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
