I CAN MOONWALK!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
