i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we're making bets on your personal life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All the doctor said was why
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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