So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
