Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
