i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
