I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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