Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
