Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
