wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
