he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
