38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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