I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
