haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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