if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
