Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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