dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
