Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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