just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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