Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
