We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
