i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
