I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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