Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
