My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
