Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
