They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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