also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
