You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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