pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
