Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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