we made out on top of his cat.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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