I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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