we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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