I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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